The Doctor's Diary
by betawho
Summary: What if River read the Doctor's diary? A younger River is tempted to peek into the Doctor's diary of their life together...


River puttered around the console, checking readings, trailing her fingers over the controls. The Doctor was outside, saying goodbye to Amy and Rory, who'd decided to go home for the night. Apparently they lived in London now, which was okay, since she didn't have any place in Leadworth any more.

They didn't travel with the Doctor all the time, which had been a bit of a surprise. But she wasn't quite sure how to behave around them anymore. She was Mels, but not Mels. She was their daughter, but not their daughter. She was apparently some woman they knew from the future, yet that future hadn't happened to her yet.

It could get awkward.

The Tardis hummed reassuringly under her fingertips. She smiled softly. Apparently she also had two mothers now. Amy, which she'd always known about, and this strange machine.

Somehow, that didn't bother her. Rather this machine than Kovarian. Her brows knit and she frowned, growling under her breath. The Tardis gave a whine, and a bump, and something fell off the console.

River reached down to pick it up and froze. She quickly checked the Tardis door, but it was still shut.

She turned over the small, blue-covered diary in her hands. Temptation beckoned. She'd seen this diary in the Doctor's hands all too often. A sleeker version of the one he'd given her. They'd compared diaries when he'd picked her up. He must have left it here by mistake.

The cover tingled under her fingertips, her blood rushing in her veins.

She shouldn't.

Spoilers.

She looked up at the time rotor, but the machine didn't seem to have anything to say on the matter.

Biting her lip, crouching back behind the console, where he couldn't see her if he came in unexpectedly, River opened the Doctor's diary.

He had strangely elegant handwriting. All big loops and swirls.

"River, if you're reading this, put it down right now!"

She burst out laughing.

The first page was a warning to her. Oh, did that man know her or what?

Of course, she took that as permission to keep reading.

She rifled through the pages, there were little sketches of the Tardis, and the console, of Amy, and Rory's nose. And there was a truly glorious sketch of herself, each curl shaded and eyebrow arched, and somehow, looking older. It was creepy, in a sort of reassuring way.

She cocked her head. She did look good though. She grinned, if that's how he saw her, she had nothing to worry about. She still wasn't quite accustomed to him traveling with a variety of pretty young girls. Seemed like a new one each time she saw him. Usually sleeping somewhere else in the Tardis, casually namedropped into their conversation, as if they were just a normal part of his life.

A girl could get jealous.

But, this wasn't the sketch of a man who wasn't attracted. And she knew he was weirdly oblivious in certain areas. He was a good draftsman though.

Unfortunately, (she flipped through the book quickly,) the rest of the content was all written in that circular Gallifreyan writing.

She could pick out a few words here and there. "Sontarans," "bridge broke," "Amy's mad." She grinned at that one.

She squinted her eyes, and the circles seemed to dance, turning, like clocks, she blinked and forced herself to concentrate.

She knew how this worked. The Tardis, apparently deciding since there was no longer a Gallifrey to send her to school to, had taken it on herself to be her tutor. River didn't know how many nights she'd awoken from dreams of temporal theory, time mechanics, laws of time, Gallifreyan nursery rhymes, legends, engineering and a thousand other subjects that apparently the Tardis thought all Time Lords should know.

It could be a headache, but it also came in handy.

If she concentrated, tapped into the flow of time that she could always subliminally feel brushing across her skin, she could make the words make sense. The symbols, the timing, the intersections.

Ah...

"Visited Stormcage..."

"the warp engines had a phase shift..."

"Jim was livid..."

She flipped through the pages, never settling on one for long. A few teasers was one thing, but too much foreknowledge could be dangerous.

Seems they had quite an adventurous life, she and her new husband. Looks like she was stuck in that prison though. If you could call getting out at every opportunity stuck.

There was one symbol... She leafed back through the pages, the wheels turning, making her a little crosseyed. The words jumbled or wouldn't quite focus. There it was again. And again. Scattered all through the diary. It virtually jumped out at her, page after page.

What was that? That size circle meant deity, that little intersection there meant "woman," but what was that last little fillip at the end there?

The Tardis door creaked open. Her hearts lurched. "There we go!" the Doctor shouted jovially. "The kids are all settled. So where shall we go, Doctor Song! River?"

She could hear him approaching the dais, looking for her. She slammed the diary shut, but not before that last symbol suddenly blazed across her brain.

She yanked the book back open and checked again. Yes, that's what it said.

She shoved the book into the Tardis cubbyhole and popped up, keeping the rotor between them.

"River? Oh, there you are! So, what shall we do now?" he asked. Eyes twinkling, hands rubbing in anticipation.

He was such a private person. Never saying what he meant. Always meeting out of order. Always hiding secrets. River grinned at him.

That was one Gallifreyan symbol she'd never forget, now. Gently whirling in her mind's eye.

_"God, that woman can kiss!"_

He stood there, looking adorably flustered. Frowning at her in confusion. "What?"

—

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